She grins back and blows me a kiss.I beckon to her. Natasha smiles and climbs down from Simon's desk. She ruffles his hair like he's a pet (which he sort of is) and saunters across in my direction. She wiggles her hips as she walks, pleasantly aware of how hot she looks in her tight skirt and heels and tantalising top, knowing perfectly well that me and Simon are lustfully admiring her every move. Only person not ogling is Sylvia Tusk, the other female in the office, whose facial expression as she watches Natasha's brazen little catwalk is one of hopeless envy.Poor cow: as ravishing as Natasha Reeves is, that's how plain Sylvia is. Or is 'plain' even a little too complimentary? Yes, I believe it is. Short, seriously overweight, bad face, bad hair, bad skin - 'distinctly unappetising' is nearer the mark. And as I say, 'poor cow', because having a stunner like Tash around the office only serves to make Sylvia look and feel even more unattractive. It really is Beauty and the Beast – a. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head, do you really WANTpuke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just cos YOU can't have sex right now.9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if your that desperate, go wank off.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good..
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