Do you know what I was imagining when you saw me just now?” It wasn’t so much that I was casually interested at that stage – I had to hear it! I nodded.“I was thinking about making love to you. It’s all I think about, even when I’m out with Heather.”I wasn’t prepared for his emotional collapse and as the tears shook his young body I just held him to me. My own were beginning to assemble in the corner of both eyes.“It’s OK, it’s OK,” I whispered as I cradled him, “I have had some terrible thoughts myself, Trent… things I can’t even tell you… things I can barely even admit to myself.”He raised his tear-stained face towards mine, “You don’t have to, mom,” and then he kissed me again.This wasn’t a child’s kiss, not a mother-son kiss, and definitely not the peck of a stranger. This was a lover’s kiss. Conrad’s image flashed before my eyes, then my father’s, but as both quickly faded, my handsome boy’s face came back into focus. He was smiling despite the tears.“I love you, mom,” was all. The truck was fuelled up and with over 1000 litres in the tanks I wouldn’t have to stop for fuel until I got home. There was one other rig in the parking bay, an old and battered Louisville with 3 cattle trailers hanging behind. There were a couple of dust-covered utes complete with bull bars and a row of spotlights on a bar over the cab, a Range Rover and a couple of soft roaders completed the collection. I pulled in and let the engine of my Mack idle for a while before I shut her down. I had five trailers on with general cargo, including a refrigerated one with tropical fruit, mangos and papayas for the Southern markets. I climbed down and strolled into the road house, the people inside glanced as I entered then continued to munch their way through truckie serves of steak, salad and chips. I grabbed a mug and helped myself to the bottomless urn of coffee and fronted the counter to order. The name badge told me that Steph was on duty and she smiled at me, ‘What’ll it be?’ Pencil.
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