The only hope I had in the world right now was she had also said, “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it.”I lay on my bed listening to Q102. I was rehashing in my mind what I had put on three pages in the journal. What did I want? Did I really want Birgit? Could I honestly examine that relationship and say that it was not to be? No, I didn’t think I could. Despite my connection with Jennifer, despite all that entailed, if Birgit were here right now, I’d end everything else. For her, I could do that.But what did that say about the situation with Jennifer? The more I thought about it the more I came to a conclusion that Jennifer was right. I had entered into the relationship with Birgit with my eyes wide open. With neither of us being anything but honest, open, and forthright at the time we made love. With no preconceived notions. No attempts on either of our parts to deceive. It was pure, it was spontaneous.But that’s not what had happened with my best friend. We had sex on. How can I risk losing the one stable relationship I have in my life?" By developing other stable relationships at the same time," Bryant offered. "Jan, look, you and I were in the same situation when I came down here. I had no one – outside of you – that I considered a friend. You know, that's not even right. I didn't even consider you a friend then, Jan. You were my closest coworker but really that was all."He saw the look of hurt on Jan's face and amended his previous statement."I was wrong about how I looked at you," he said. "It took me some time to understand that we had actually been close friends for years. Sure, we didn't share every incidental detail of our lives like some people feel the need to do but we stood by each other when things got rough. I was just pointing out that I incorrectly believed I had no friends." Oh," Jan said, recognition dawning on her face. "Yeah, I get what you're saying. Now look at you. You have dozens of friends and you add someone new to the.
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