I think my curves are perfect. I spend quite a bit of time in the gym and am resolved that this is my body. Love it or hate it. After my divorce, I tried online dating. I could regale you with the horror stories, but I did meet a few good guys. One of those good guys is now my fiancé and I can’t wait to be his wife. We have lived together for four years now. It is 7:00 a.m. on Friday Morning and I am lying in bed, already missing my fiancé. As I do most mornings, I browse Lush, checking my messages and catching up on the new stories. I start reading through my messages and there is one from you. You know just what to say to turn me on. I find my body responding to the words on the screen. You are telling me all the naughty things you want to do to me. My hands start to wander over the fabric covering my nipples. I trace a line down my stomach. Just as my hand reaches the edge of my panties, there is a knock at the door. “What in the world? Who could possibly be here now?” No one ever. It can hit you what you've done, Willow. The deaths, the sounds, the terror ... the 'what ifs.' You don't think about that too much, if your lucky, when your fighting, but it creeps up on you and can hit you hard. Some people ... it happens quickly, while they're still on the line. Some, like me ... it happens later ... I ... I sometimes space out ... I remember ... people who died in my arms ... decisions I should have made ... the way it felt ... that rush of combat and death and blood and fear and the thrill of the fight ... it can be overwhelming."Willow was quiet a while, staring out into the dense trees surrounding them. "I worry about that, Dad. Sometimes ... I feel it in me ... I know it's there ... like a shadow ... growing thicker and darker. I'm scared of it." She exhaled slowly, calming herself. "Imps I can kill. And I can face my own death. Those don't scare me anymore ... but what's in there," she said, tapping her head, "I'm scared I can't control it." I thought I.
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