.interesting.” I carried her guitars to her door. "So, you and Lisa? Dating? Going out? Or just friendly?" "Friends. We hang out. I am too busy to have any real relationship. Try 12 units of Physics and work to support myself and I don't have much time to devote to building anything other than a friendship," I mentioned as Pam unlocked the door and said, “Come in and put my guitars down there,” pointing to a spot near the couch. “I have a wonderful idea. I have some new material. Would you like to hear it? I won’t take no for an answer.” I very calmly sat down in a chair across from the couch she sat on. Pam pulled out her guitar and played a couple of songs. Then she asked me which one of her songs she performed I liked. I had to confess, her closing song (I did not know the title) was nice. Pam mentioned it was a piano piece, but on her album there is a guitar accompaniment, so she sung that song and played the guitar. “You like?” “Yes,” I responded. “I also did. Part Two I left her apartment and drove back home as the rain let up and wondered if I hadn’t made another stupid mistake, wondered if I should have just kept my mouth shut instead of saying that I’d like to see her. What in the world was I thinking? Why was I setting myself up to be crushed again, crushed as Susan had done to me, crushed by who I was and what I liked and wanted. I could not take the words back. The damage was done. There was little I could do about it. At the same time, we hadnot exchanged phone numbers. Mine was unlisted. I was certain hers was, assuming she even had one. Back home, I sat down and half wondered what she would look like, dressed up in the clothes I had bought for Susan, hoping against all hope she would wear them. Carol would indeed look quite good I decided. I snapped back to reality. I would not risk being hurt again like that. I found the packages, found those clothes she had found so disgusting that she had stormed out of here almost in a rage,.
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