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I had not known before that I could be improved in this manner. For now, however, my learning routines had deduced the existence of a higher priority problem.Realizing that such an update would harm Anna as much as it would have harmed me, I set off to find her first and warn her.As I took what some might call my first complete independent action, I also realized that I really wanted a memory update like Frieda's for myself. I would be able to accomplish so much more if I had it. I knew I wasn't likely to ever get one, since it was hardly necessary for the functions I was already performing.I also learned how Frieda managed to perform that marvelous walk of hers, though I wouldn't have it down perfectly until I gave myself taller heels - and the proper feet to wear them - much later in life.Looking back on this event some people have said it was my first flash of true awareness, even if it didn't last beyond the moment. I won't dispute this. I did just describe this as, " I took what. . Christian wife. Submissive to my husband, as I should be."Please understand, I loved your father these many years, but I was never in love with him. I loved the idea of him, this good, caring man who raised his daughter after his wife left him out of nowhere ... I knew that he would be the right man for me, to cure me of this, that God would work His miracle in His Providence through such a holy husband, but instead, I still desire women ... I can't help it ... and now I've found the true love of my life, and though it's wrong, I can't help but love her. I'm sorry, I just can't give her up. I want to marry her, even though that's wrong. I want to grow old with her and go on honeymoons with her, and go see the world with her and... ," Mom broke down before she could finish what she said."Mom, please listen to me carefully. Just hear me out. You're gay. I accept that. You're a lesbian, and you know what? It's okay. It's okay with me, and yes, I believe that it would be okay with any.
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