Just how bad am I willing to let it get before I say fuck it? What will living as a cripple cost my family vs living without me? Will my wife love me?I started drawing criteria. One is the ability to read. Reading makes life bearable. Aphasia hadn’t touched my ability to read even though it can so that was a positive. I even considered other modes of reading like learning braille. I didn’t know if Aphasia could interfere with that but I’ll do anything to read. At that time, I needed a lot of minimal help so if my wife had left me right then I would have been screwed. So I made homeless a criteria -I.e. no caretaker then I had two larger problems - Pain and Hyper-Aggression.Prior to the Night of Hell, I had headaches once or twice a year. Now, I continually suffer from some sort of migraine discomfort. By continually I literally mean 24/7/365. I have had approx 9 symptom free days since Aug .16,2017. Intensity level ranges from a teeny tiny amount of pressure to having the Texas. I had managed to set aside some money and knew I could help her pay off the bills and promptly sent her a check. That only helped to delay the inevitable.I was anxious when I was finally able to take a couple of weeks of leave. There wasn’t much left for me to help with when I got there. Renee had found a buyer for the house and had arranged to pay off the bills. Most of the house had been emptied out and there was only her double bed, a small sofa, and a few kitchen items. The only real question left was where Renee would go once the house was sold?I decided it would be best to have Renee move out near me in Kentucky. We could get her an apartment near post and use my money to pay for it. It knew would take most of my money to supplement her rent, but it was the best thing to do and I was hoping my sister could get a part-time job to help some also. My sister agreed but had some reservations. Her biggest question was what happened after my enlistment was up or if I got assigned.
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