So far, what I was doing was well within bounds. I walked to him, and for the reader’s sake, I’ll call him Ben, and I looked him squarely in the eyes, and spoke softly. “I am ready…” I let out a sharp breath. “I am yours to enjoy, and will fuck you or whom you want, when you want, and where you want.” It was part of our ritual, it was the beginning of that time where I surrendered myself to Him, and became Ben’s property. I reached up, and collected my shiny brunette hair in my fingers, lifting it up, making a display of placing my hands behind my head, elbows out, and he reached around my neck, fastening the gold chain and trinket around me. The trinket was a charm that said “Fuck Me”, and hung down the plunge of my blouse, to the beginning of my cleavage, a placement sure to catch the eye of men as they oggled me. Preliminaries out of the way, he escorted me to the front desk, and I checked into the hotel, signing in as “Mr. & Mrs.”, playing the role of his toy, and for a. Then Tara said, "Why am I telling this to you?"April could have told her. She wasn't telling April, she was letting out her own thoughts unfettered, for once – April wasn't involved in the conversation, she was just the audience. It would have taken someone like Tara, - so concerned with her own feelings and needs, - years to understand the implications of what she'd done, how she'd hurt someone else, someone else who's only crime was to love her unconditionally.Tara, deep down, recognized what she'd done and she needed to say it. But there was probably no one she could tell. No one of her work cronies, no one she could let her guard down in front of. April was not someone she socialized with. No one she knew. No one that she cared about. She could, ironically, be more honest with April than she ever could with anyone else. And given the state of shock she was in ... this unburdening was inevitable. And April was not about to stop it, both because it was therapeutic for Tara and also.
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