Gently. Then it's called hugging. It's fun. Try it!"She giggled and as she slipped her arms around me, she told me, "Good call. By the way, I know what a hug is. What I meant was why now?" Katelyn moved her body against me, still grinning."Because I adore you. I know you may not be ready to hear those words, but it is how I feel. I think you are a very beautiful woman and I wanted to show you how I felt." I drew her tight to my chest and kissed the nape of her neck. "God you smell good."With her arms still around me, she tilted her head back, "You seem to be feeling better." Yes, I feel much better with you in my arms. How about you finish and then come see me in my room?" Go sit. I'll be there in a second."On the way to the back room - I still thought of it as the back room and not my bedroom - my bedroom was on the second floor and the bed was a lot bigger and much more comfortable. On the way back to the room, I stopped off in my office and retrieved my pipe. I hadn't had any. I was fourteen, kissing Daniel while the snow blew against the picturewindow and Elvis sang about a poor child in the ghetto.I was fifteen, as my mother was given a charity funeral and wonderingwhere I would go now.I was sixteen, crying in the back seat of some john's car after losingmy virginity.I was eighteen, and reeling from a car accident after which thinkingwould become very hard. I cried in the hospital, trying to make senseout of what happened to me while my mind felt full of sawdust.I was twenty, crying in grattidue as Mistress Diana washed my hair andtold me she would never leave me.My last memories were tapped and transferred. In all my life I had neverfelt so utterly alone, and so numb. I saw the tape ejected and carriedaway. I inhaled deeply, smelling not the smells of machines anddisinfectant, but the smell of that clearing. Clean and free. I closedmy eyes and awaited the end. The smells of the clean night air I hoped Iwould carry into whatever waited for such as.
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