"So," he inquired, "was it fun?" It sure as hell was," I replied."That sure was some big load YOU gave up! Did you 'save up' for a while before tonight?" Actually, yes," I replied. "I remembered what you'd said about that, and so I did that." The MORE sperm on these occasions," he said, with that playfully impish smirk I knew so well, "the better!" Robert seemed to like it," I said."He did!" Jackson replied, and then, after a pause he said, in a lowered tone of voice that indicated a need for a certain amount of discretion: "He's a pastor, you know. Married too, but, he LOVES those sperm cocktails!" I had a feeling he might be something like that," I replied."He's been coming here almost from the very beginning," Jackson said."Really?" Oh yes! He's absolutely mad about it," he said, then added, feeling the need for clarification, "for SPERM, I mean! He's absolutely AVID for it!" Apparently so!" I replied.Jackson turned to me and said: "I want to thank you for your contribution. These were my one concession to my true self. Only Amy knewabout them.As I stood there waiting for my turn to walk across the stage, I had tolisten to each person getting cheered as their name was called. When myname was called, only Amy and her parents applauded. Other than that,there was silence. I wanted to run away and have a cry. My parentsdidn't even care enough to show up for what was supposed to be one ofthe biggest days of my life.After the ceremony, Amy went to the school wide party. I just went homewith her parents since I had nowhere else to go. I felt so alone andunloved. After all, who really cared about me?She had begged me to go with her but I felt she would be a lot more funwithout me there since I was so depressed by what my parents had done.Starting that day, I sank into a state of depression. I even consideredkilling myself so I would not be a bother or burden to anyone. Why not?I was feeling worthless and so unloved.I lost almost all interest in life. Most days,.
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