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I say inthe plural because there were several of the sexy French maid uniformsthat we'd often laughed about in adult shops we'd visited, fivedifferent pastel coloured ones plus one white and one black for Sundays.Then I had coverall pinafores to use while I was cooking because thesilly little aprons that came with them wouldn't save a speck of dirt,they were entirely decorative.What I didn't appreciate were all the different coloured shoes that wentwith each uniform. They all had five inch heels on them except Sunday'swhich were six inch. When I queried them she told me that I was goingto have to wear five inch ones with the wedding dress, the same as her,so I had to get used to them. The same applied to the corsets. UnlessI laced them up as far as they'd go I couldn't get into the dresses.I don't mind admitting that I went straight onto a crash diet in anattempt to save me the pain of wearing them.Within a week of starting my maid duties I was whisked of the a privateclinic. He tried to bite it, which I expected. Taking a handful of his neck scruff in my right hand, I hoisted him off the log. . . .and completely lost my footing in the process. Ass over teakettle is the expression I believe. Splash I slogged up out of the fetid goo like the Creature from the Black Lagoon, dog held out at arm’s length by its worthless neck, yelping and whining. I dropped it on the shore and sat down to empty the mud from my shoes. The dog’s owner wrapped the mutt in her coat and walked over to where I sat. Probably going to thank me, maybe offer a reward, I thought. ‘You could have hurt her!’ she shouted, ‘No one treats my poor Brichette that way.’ Brick-shit? I thought. Now there’s a funny name. ‘I should report you!’ she said over her shoulder as her and Brickshit hit the bricks. I pulled my shoes back on and lay back in the grass for a moment, admiring the winter constellations overhead while the water drained out of my pantlegs. A young woman’s face filled my field.
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