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I said, “No way, Mr McGann. I’ve no chance.”He was a lot bigger than me. He said if I wanted to I could cheat by lifting my arse off the chair and putting all my weight behind me. So we did it like that but I still only lasted for two seconds. He gave me a friendly punch, said I was a rum lad.Anyway, things got really weird the third time we met. I’d gone round to see my bird but she wasn’t in. Mr McGann said, “She’s gone out with her Mum but come in, lad. We can have a man-to-man chat.”There was no way I could say, “Fuck off, Mr McGann – you bore the shit out of me.” So I went in.He opened a can of lager, gave it to me, opened one for himself. We chatted away about all things macho. Then from out of the blue he absolutely shocked me.“You ever had a dick fight, lad?”I thought I heard him wrong.“What?”“A dick fight. You want one?”“A…a dick fight?”“Yeah. Fancy having one?”“A dick fight?”“You couldn’t beat me in an arm wrestle, so let’s see how you are with your dick.”“You…you wanna. ”“Can I come in bed with you?” I asked.There was a short pause as she considered the request. As kids you are always trying to sleep with your parents and have no idea why you get turned down. “Just for a bit.” Was the gentle reply.I lifted the blankets, snuggled up to my mum, she had her back to me I think so I would not see, even in the dark, red-rimmed eyes. I tried to go to sleep. No such fortune but I was so still I suspect my mother thought I was asleep. The sobbing started again so I put my arm around her to try to comfort her. She took hold of my arm to show that it was appreciated but this had the effect of placing my hand on her breast. I still do not know if this was accident or design but I stopped breathing for a second. A female tit. A real live female tit. I’d never felt one before and it felt soft under my hand which I did not dare move in case the accident was discovered and my hand was removed from this bit of warm bit of feminine flesh. Did not matter that it.
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