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I know I quivered.Rebecca, Andy and I went to dinner at San Francisco’s finest restaurant. Both of the women wore black, floor length, form fitting cocktail dresses. Andy’s dress had a high, square neck in front and was backless. Rebecca’s dress had spaghetti straps, a deep V to the navel in front and was backless. Both of them were tastefully adorned in jewelry and makeup. The restaurant had that noisy but pleasant sound of quality restaurants when we entered. I told the maitre d’ to escort the ladies to our table. I wanted to watch the room when they walked through it.Slowly, elegantly, the two ladies floated toward the table, like goddesses visiting us mortals here on earth. The noise level lowered significantly as they progressed, heads, male and female, turning to observe them. At several tables, the women berated their male companions for obviously staring. As they sat, the room began to return to normal. I joined them. By the time I got there, and it was not a minute, two. Forget it, Ed, you’re playing Hold ‘Em with 7-2 off suit and I hold the nuts. Fold, or it’ll BE your nuts. And everything else.”“Fuck you!”“You have twenty-four hours to work out an equitable deal with Stephanie,” I said, keeping my voice even but firm. “And that means she keeps most of the assets, because she earned them. She gets primary custody as well. She’ll pay you for your share of the equity in the house and supplement your pension from her 401K. That’s the deal. Take it or go to prison for the rest of your life. And I am NOT bluffing.”“Fuck you!”“You might also want to consider,” I continued calmly, “that some of your calls to your mistress were made before she turned seventeen. I meant what I said, Ed - you have twenty-four hours. This time tomorrow, if you haven’t agreed a reasonable settlement with my sister - and this is NOT a time for you to play hardball - I make one of two possible calls. It’s only a question of who comes to get you - the Sheriff or the Coroner.”He.
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