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"We could cut your hairshort and get boy's clothes for you, but you'd just look like a tomboyand attract even more attention."She was right of course. I reluctantly pulled the feminine garment upmy legs, then a cotton vest, ankle socks and one of Tracey's dresses.Helen didn't help by saying it was one my elder daughter had almostgrown out of and it was the same with the shoes, she had to ball uplittle wedges of cotton wool to place in the heels before they wouldfit.It was in that state that I was taken, yes that's the right way ofputting it, taken along to see my daughters' dance. Two or three of themothers wanted to know where their father was and Helen had to say thatI had been unavoidably detained at work. I was introduced as theircousin Susan. You've no idea how many times I was asked if I wasjealous of them dancing when it wasn't me.The weekend brought no relief. My bowels continued to make attempts toblock the lavatory, I proportionately shrunk and Helen told me that. This was followed by a heavy duty cleaning spell to clean and freshen up the bed linen, blankets, clothing, rugs, and the Earl himself. It was only after that was finished that I changed the air a number of times to get rid of the nauseating smell. The Earl sat up drunk and bleary eyed as I was finishing."Who are you? What are you doing in here?" he demanded drunkenly."I'm the Wizard who is treating you. I've come to give you your final treatment, that is after I take care of your current problems," I told him."What problems?" he challenged."Your hangover for one. I'll also need to sober you up for another," I told him in disgust."You ... you never show me any respect!" he shouted, but had to stop for a few seconds as his own voice made his head hurt, and he needed to gather his wits. "Why?" he finished."Because you have done nothing to gain my respect," I told him, frankly."I'm the Earl of Donegal and The O'Donnell!" he replied in self-righteous indignation. "You never address me as.
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