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She told herself that she had been desperate. She had not wanted to loose him, not yet. But no matter what she did to rationalize her actions, she could only see accusing eyes. As a result she had done the one thing her deceit had been designed to avert. She lived in mortal fear of the day he would discover what she had done. She wanted to tell him but she knew that the minute she did, the minute Gary found that he could never be free of the SKIN that held him captive her marriage was over. She would spend the rest of her long life not only without him but knowing that she had sentenced him to the same loneliness. The knowledge of her guilt was crushing her. She could not live with it and yet she could not die. She was spinning out of control in her mind and soon she knew that she would become totally insane with it all. So she started avoiding Gary. That move was worse than the knowledge of what she had done to him. Once started, however, she could not retreat from this path either.. "Money doesn't buy happiness. I'd give anything to have what you've got." She said."You lost me. What I got?" Jamie asked. "You really are clueless. I'm talking about love Jamie." Erin said to her. "I can go over there, have sex with all those boys, and while physically I'll feel fine, emotionally I won't. I can go over there, and let that old man do whatever he wants to me, but there's no love involved. For some of us, being an eternal young boy or girl is like hell on earth." She said, and Jamie looked down at her lap. She never realized that Erin felt that way, and almost felt bad for being pissed at her. "I never knew that it affected boys too." Jamie said, and Erin nodded. "We're the Baby Dolls of society. The eternal children of damnation. Why should we care was people think of us? We should do what we want to do, whenever we want to do it." Erin said. "Just how many people like us are there?" Jamie asked.Erin just shrugged. "I don't know the numbers, but look around. For all.
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