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“Yes.”“What did it say?”“Don’t stand up in the car!”An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After awhile, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s it going down there in Hell?”Satan replied, “Hey, things are great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.” God was surprised, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here.”“No way,” replied Satan. “I like having an engineer, and I’m keeping him.”God threatened, “Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!”Satan laughed and answered, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”This woman goes in for a facelift and the doctor says: “We’ve got this new. Just don’t lose your temper and start a shouting match.”“I’ll do my best,” I promised him.“I’ve never known you do any less than that son,” he replied, I thought he sounded rather proud.We arrived home in just over half an hour.I was greeted warmly by my brother and sister, but Mum just glared at me.“Well, young man, what do you have to say for yourself?”“Hello Mum, nice to see you too.”“Don’t you talk back to me young man,” she snapped.“Pat, leave it. He’s been travelling for two days and he’s tired, and he had a shock last night. If you’d forgotten, this is your son, who you haven’t seen for six weeks, just let him get some rest, and maybe a welcome home.”Her shoulders drooped.“Sorry,” she said opening her arms for a hug, “welcome home son. Are you hungry?”“No Mum I ate in Brussels,” I replied, “I’m just tired.”“OK, you get yourself off up to bed, we’ll see you in the morning.”I decided that this was one instruction from my mother I could obey, so I hugged everybody, said goodnight.
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