mp4
You make excuses to walk by her desk, yet, you are oblivious to you. And, you still cannot summon the courage to look at her for fear that she will perceive you as a weirdo or worse a stalker never mind having the courage to ask her out. Your company has strict policies on sexual harassment yet you still dress to impress her. You spend extra time at the gym building your muscles and passing up that donut the next morning. Yet, you are invisible to her. She does not notice you. She does not know you exist. She, no doubt, loves another. Surely, that is the reason why she does not look your way. Then, one day, you look up from your scribbling of her name to see her standing in front of your desk. From your seated position, you notice she is tall and very curvaceous. The music of ‘The Girl From Ipanema’ runs endlessly thought your mind. ‘Tall and tanned and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking and when she passes each one she passes goes…ahhh!’ ‘Hi, I’m Angelica.’ Your. They were saying things to me I wasn't hearing, grabbing my hands, kissing my cheeks, smelling too strongly of something, then, thankfully leaving. I remember wondering if someone had told anyone not to let the cats out. My wife loved those little babies, and she'd be so sad if any of them got out and got lost, or worse.I have clear recollections that my sister-in-law came to take me to the memorial service, although I didn't see where we were going. She took me inside, holding me as if I would fall. Some guy said a few words, then more people one by one said more words. At one point everyone was looking at me. I learned later that they thought I might have wanted to say some words myself. But I wasn't me then. I was an unfocused shell. And maybe if you held me up to your ear you could hear the ocean roar.Somehow I ended up with a vase and back in my sister-in-law's truck, and then back home. I remember the darkness, and blessed sleep, and one of those smells again.It was the next.
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