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"The John Patterson Double Arm Double Hook." He responded in a-matter-of-factly way."Oooh sounds complicated. Not."John sat up on his knees then helped his girlfriend up too, with him near the edge of the bed and her in front. "Now just spread your legs," Leah giggled at his words and so did he after he realized how it sounded. "Spread them a little more... there." "Now when I lean forward with my head just put me in a head lock, squeeze, and lean back," John then leaned forward quickly and Leah did as she was told while leaning back onto the pillows. "There! The John Patterson Double Arm Double Hook," He expected her to let go, but all he heard was silence. "Uhh you can let go now." Silence."This is for slapping my ass!" She said while laughing. "Alright that's it!" He smirked, but actually struggled to get out the head lock, so he just yanked his head up and playfully tackled her. His hands were on her wrist and his whole body now covered hers."Uhm.. John? Do you always get this. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or spend 20 years in jail?'" I remember that too," she replied softly.He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know ... I would have gotten out today."Short onesHow many women does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.What's the fastest way to a man's heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife.Why are men and parking spaces alike?Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled.Why do men want to marry virgins?They can't stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?Because those men already have boyfriends.What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention.
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