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I'm polite, and I care about people and animals, and I don't curse too much, or drink too much and all that stuff. I'm just not handsome or particularly buff.Anyway, because I know how it feels to be out in the cold all the time, I couldn't just banish Bandit to the back yard. He was part of my family ... all two of us. So, I decided that a dog door was the answer. He could come in or stay out, whichever he wanted, while I was gone.Of course, the problem was that, while I could draw in exquisite detail all the working parts of anything known to man, including a dog door, I had no idea how to install one. For that, I was going to need expert advice. So, naturally, I went to Home Depot.I know you've been to one. Everybody has. It's like walking into New York City and looking for a particular store. If you don't have the exact address, you could walk for days. I've often wondered why they don't have drinking fountains in the aisles, and a food court in the center of the store. I swear. "Paul didn't have to play hooky, because Fain's project had the support of the faculty, and for the first time since he'd last been a player, Paul reported to a ballpark -- for work.He had spent hours on the Internet, checking out statistics on Cubs and Mets players, background on the managers and coaches -- absorbing anything and everything that might come up in supposedly casual "on-air" conversations with Fain. He wanted to sound up-to-date and knowledgeable. He didn't want to mess up Fain's demo tape, if he could help it.He also had an abundance of printed-out data, in a folder, tabbed and organized, ready to take with him to the game.Paul's live interview during the game was perfunctory. He was introduced as a "promising young player in the Orioles' organization who lost his legs in Afghanistan."He was asked about what he was currently doing, and Paul -- in very abbreviated fashion -- described his current hectic schedule, and his plans for the future.The whole thing was horned.
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