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Around the table faces blanched and the temperature dropped by several degrees."I told them to fuck off," I announced casually.The expressions changed to ones of incredulity."You didn't, did you?" I didn't actually use those exact words but pretty close. Listen, guys, I may be new here but I'm not exactly inexperienced. I can spot a can of worms at a hundred paces and that project has the words on the tin in big bold letters."I was invited for a drink that Friday and I knew I was 'one of them' for the duration.The other thing that happened was that I rediscovered my appetite for women. The circumstances that had led to my flight north had rather soured me of the species and then I'd been too busy finding my feet to be bothered. However, I bumped into an attractive blonde girl at the coffee machine one morning. It was being it's usual temperamental self; 'communing with the mother ship' was the expression used when it suddenly decided not to work then, just as suddenly, decided to. I was ready for her to conclude the examination, when the next words she said hit me like a bomb: "I'm going to give you a rectal examination." I couldn't believe the words that had come out of her mouth. I'd never had a rectal exam before, nor had I ever had anything inserted in my anus, so this suprised me completely. My stomach started sinking, but Dr. Baumer, knowing from experience that patients are apprehensive about such a proceedure, started to explain it in a reassuring manner. She told me it would only take 10 or 15 seconds and instructed me to get on my side and curl up in a fetal position. I was facing the wall with my naked bum facing her. Not being able to see her, I felt very exposed, but I tried to calm my mind and relax. She put a glove on, lubed it up, and said "OK, this is going to feel a little bit like you have to go to bathroom." Before my mind could wrap itself around that strange sentence, I felt her push inside me, and it did indeed feel like I had to go to.
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