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"Why won't you marry me?"She shook her head, "Well aside from the fact that we barely know each other, you don't want someone like me Jordan." How do you know what I want?" He asked. He wondered how he could make her understand that she was exactly what he wanted, more than he wanted anything else in the world.Angel looked at him affectionately, "OK Doc, I sometimes wonder what it would have been like for me if I had finished high school at St. Christopher's too," she took a puff of her cigarette, "And maybe have gone on to college afterward like Rori did." And got married like Rori?" Jordan winked, "and then had two kids?"Angel laughed. "No," she said poking him playfully in the chest, "I think somehow I would have skipped the domesticated life. I think I probably would have defied my father's wishes and expectations by becoming a lawyer or something," she grinned, "Because Martin doesn't think women can do things like that you know." I know," Jordan smiled. "But you would have shown. I was willing, but not game enough to suit him. A couple fast fucks on the living room floor with a few of his new “friends,” and my disgust was out in the open. He seemed genuinely hurt that I never came. So he went and got his kicks elsewhere, and I went and got an apartment. I could have taken him for the house, I suppose, but why? It held nothing for me, and it had belonged to his parents, anyway. I took from the marriage only what I had brought to it, minus my sense of self-worth.It was hard to sleep. The apartment was still strange, every creak in the walls unsettling. My own body was strange, too. Sleeping naked had been a pleasure once, but in my unfamiliar new bed, distracted by every random swish of a passing car, I felt like I was still on display at one of my ex’s half-hearted orgies.The crickets were happy enough, at least. Their chirping reached me from far outside, and if it didn’t lull me to sleep, it leached some of the poison from my mind. The tension in my limbs.
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