Come Feel The Pregnancy Magic But I Have To... mp4

I need people to stop irritating me!When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation...My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a. " She was so close now she was almost touching me. "And then it occurred to me that you're young enough to be my nephew." Now what the hell did THAT have to do with the price of tea in China? "And if YOU were my nephew, I think I'd like to spend time with you." She stepped even closer. I felt the tips of her breasts touch my chest. And I began to get an idea of what was actually going on here. And I did not find the idea repugnant, other than it's never a good idea to have office romances. But I hadn't had a girlfriend for over eight months, and Julie WAS a good looking woman. "I don't have an aunt." I said, trying to sound sad. "But if I did, I'd wish she was like you." I took it a step further to see how serious she was. "Except that a nephew shouldn't think about his aunt like I'd think about you." Her eyes sparkled and she took a deep breath. She looked around. "Could you please get your poor old aunt something to drink? I'm just parched." OK, that threw me. But I.
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