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She obviously felt responsible. She was feeling guilty for making the mess. It wasn’t her fault; the mess was already there. All she did was shine a light into my head so that everyone could see it. It was such a bright and glaring light. I blinked my eyes; trying to adjust.Liz was talking to me, asking a question, but there weren’t any words. There was only noise.Her searchlight beamed in through my eyes, lighting up all the dark corners of my brain. It lit up ideas and thoughts and feelings and experiences and emotions that I hadn’t ever processed. They were all piled up in forgotten corners, gathering dust until Liz shone her light onto them. It was too much! I wasn’t ready to see those things yet. I wasn’t ready to deal with those things yet. I closed my eyes to shut out the light. It wasn’t enough! My flimsy eyelids couldn’t stop her light from pouring into my head. They just turned the light a pinky-red sort of color. I squeezed my eyes more tightly closed. I leant forward and. Thank you for the many happy years we shared." With tears rolling down my cheeks, I turned from the bedroom door and went into the living room area. I packed a couple of changes of clothes, my passport, phone and charger, and wallet with its pictures into a neat package. I had a backpack type purse and filled it. When I left, I didn't lock the door.I climbed in the rental car and slowly drove into the little town looking for signs of life. There was no one outside and no sounds of people or vehicles. I went to the place where we had shopped for food and collected some things to eat and to carry for meals later. I loaded a case of water into the trunk of the car. A mile later, I stopped to fill the tank with gas. I headed north toward Naples. I said out loud then, "It will be a lonely trip." I remembered the fun of the drive down with David.I followed the coast road driving slowly. I hoped to find someone to partner with. It would be a long, lonely trip to Naples. I saw no one. Before.
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