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It made Lew feel guilty to think about that, so he tried not to. Naomi, on the other hand, thought it was great even as it was. She took off the goggles (though the glasses she wore were not much smaller) and as she hung them over the handlebars of the bike, she bent to run one hand through the pile. As he watched her, he recalled how it felt to move his fingers through the hair on her head — and, more gently, through another patch of her hair. They sat at the kitchen table (in the living room) drinking coffee and nibbling on cheese and cookies, glancing out the window at times, for over an hour. Their eyes were otherwise downcast as they talked, giving each other edited or at least abridged versions of what they had done for the last year. Neither wanted to spend much time looking at the face of the other, because that would make the doubts and indecisions about their old relationship become too sharp. Lew knew only too well what a good look into those solid black eyes could do to. After this, I stopped bothering her. It’s funny how the end of my first grade year culminated in my intense isolation from the rest of my peers. I was so lonely that the teacher gave up. I never saw Linda again, but I’m sure she thinks of me every now and then as this person who tried valiantly to express an affection, even though it was unfashionable to do so. I miss her. I look into this strange world and ask where have these people gone? I ask myself every day: “To fuck it or not to fuck it.” This is my question. I have suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. What else can I do but feel sorry for myself? Once I get out of this prison of madness I will rejoin the world much sicker than before. There is no way out of this box. I need a woman inside with me- someone I can trust and forever hold on to. A woman who will never abuse me, never abuse me.I am almost out of this hell hole, and the turnover rate flies high. I am getting to know my in-patient peers less and.
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