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Not only do it, but I also wanted to put the original models to shame.I went into the bathroom, if you could call it a bathroom, waxed my legs, and shaved my pussy and armpits. After all, the models were clean-shaven. I dressed conservatively and went out to the shops. When I returned I had a few new clothes and a tripod for the camera. I know I could have put the camera on the table, but a tripod would make things much easier. I striped naked and put my clothes away. Carefully I did my blonde hair up in two bunches with pink ribbon and slipped on a pair of white calf length socks and some trainers. With carefully applied makeup I now looked about 15 years old.I wasted the first roll of film working out how to operate the camera, set the timer, get the exposure right and position myself just right. However the next two rolls produced the twelve required pictures. I must admit I looked really sexy, and a real slut. The "Free Expression" photos were a lot more problematic. I could pee. Perhaps this would be the last time ... I sang the old Stones song to myself to keep the tears at bay. But the song said 'Last time maybe, I don't know, ' and I didn't. I didn't know anything worth knowing; I didn't know myself, or my own mind.Thoughts of suicide were becoming more tempting than drug addiction. An overdose of deliciously numbing morphine, just one more, to finish it all for good. Leave the unwanted money to that new thing, Friends Of The Earth, or Oxfam ... after all, who would miss me?I checked into the hotel, following my usual ritual, which was a tiny bit comforting. When I thought of the house in the woods, my pulse still quickened. Despite my increasing depression, the lure of sex with Margaret still drew me there with magnetic force. This time however, I needed her mercy as well as her cruelty. Whichever way she went, whether she fucked me to happiness or even deeper despair, for a few hours I would think of nothing else but her, I would just experience.
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