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"My god... mother!" I dropped my briefcase and took the few steps before I wrapped my arms about her waist to give her a big hug. "Damn you look great mom!" It was not only the fact that she looked good, which she did, but that she had tried to hard to please me - to fit into the life I now lead. If she was to live here, with me, it could be no other way.She squealed with delight when I lifted her off her heels and squeezed so that she could barely breath. I leaned back and saw how wide her smile was and that small glitter in her eye, both that had been missing for years.She playfully slapped my chest when I let her go and said, "Oh honey! Stop it!" I could see that she did not mean it though, she needed my praise like a person needed to eat. And mother, had not been properly complimented in a very very long time.Mom lead me to the dining room where she served me my favourite meal.It was a very delightful evening.Throughout, I wondered absentmindedly if she wore the thigh-high. He’s handsome, sensitive, caring and considerate”.“So what do you need the second one for?” asked Lisa.“The second one is straight”.A guy went to the doctor and said, I’ve got a mole on the end of my penis”.“Drop your pants and show me”, said the doctor, who then proceeded to examine the area.“Yes”, continued the doctor. “I can get rid of the mole, but I’m going to have to report you to the animal welfare people”.It is noteworthy that nobody who was originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35.I once had sex for 62 minutes straight, without stopping. Of course, that was on the day that they moved the clocks... My mother’s at the stage where she talks about everyone who’s died.“Do you remember Muriel? She’s just died”“Do you remember Arthur? He’s just died.”I said, “Mom, get off the roof and give me the gun”.And here are the results of the Sci Fi soccer games: R2D – 2, C3P - 0An Italian, a Greek and a Jew were discussing their ancient civilizations.The Italian said, “Archaeologists dug.
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