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Staci drove around for a bit before meandering into the video store. She didn't really have anything else to do and had wanted to spend the whole day with Jill, but apparently Jill didn't feel the same way. They were growing apart bit by bit, Staci realized, but much like her roommate she was unsure of what to do about it. While there was a great part of her that loved Jill, Staci had to admit that there was something missing from her life. She hadn't actually had sex with a man since Jack had started dating Denise and it was starting to bother her. Like an itch she hadn't scratched lately, Staci felt somewhat deprived. Jill was great in bed, but Staci was feeling almost bored with their relationship. Of course, she mused, working in an adult video store and seeing all those perverted thoughts in her head played out on screen or in a magazine wasn't helping.She wandered around the video store somewhat aimlessly, not really sure what it was she wanted to rent. Staci wandered up and. Deaf and dumb, true. She was deaf and I, dumb. During funerals for parents and those of their era, my mind dwelt on their life summaries, what they did and didn't do. For those younger, it was their tragedy, of a life story cut short, their uncompleted actions. This funeral was of my generation, now beginning to be sporadically called to the other world, a pace that would accelerate. As the sterile, macabre platitudes of the secular service droned on, my mind wandered afar.Death, it’s final. Tomorrow the world goes on without her. She’ll soon be forgotten, yesterday’s newspaper. Death, the stop button on our life’s tape, a tape soon erased, a fading memory among those who knew her, probably knew her not, now an evaporating mirage.I shifted to reminiscing about me.Soon I’ll be in a coffin, never to move again. When young, I walked through the Mission Cemetery with Julie, my one St. Clare’s school friend, to her mother’s grave, awed. The cemetery, row after row, beneath our feet or in.
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