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I have this hat.” Totally smooth.Striking like a cobra, she swiped out and grabbed the hat from my hands, whipping it away and stepping back from me. I took half a step forward to grab it then stopped; moving any further would have exposed my ass which was at least mostly hidden by the side of the limo. I moved my hands down to cover my crotch.“Mary! Please! Give it back!” I hissed, craning my neck around to see if anyone was watching. At that moment, no one was. Except Phil who was ignoring everything like a true professional.Mary twirled the hat on her finger as she looked down at what it had been hiding. My hands were over my crotch for the most part but the cock cage was impossible to hide fully.“What the hell is that?!” she exclaimed, pointing at it.“Um, it’s, uh, a cock-cage,” I said as softly as I could. Phil coughed at that but said nothing. He wasn’t getting paid enough to intervene on this kind of crazy ass, freaky, white-people shit.“What’s it for?” she asked, frowning.“It. That freed up the third base coach.The pitcher, a young fella I’d never heard of was blazing ‘em by batter after batter at 90 mph or better when I realized all the kid had was a fastball.I called out to the batter, “Look. He’s throwing the same pitch every time. The ball crosses the plate in the same place over and over. He’s pitching in the low 90’s. Time it.”Two pitches later.CRACKCRACKCRACKThe grin on the batters face was priceless. The pitcher, however, wasn’t happy.So I hollered, “Hey. Stop throwing the four seam fastball. Try something else.”And that ended up as a lesson in aerodynamics.“The seams interrupt the airflow across the surface of the ball. So how you hold the ball determines the direction of rotation and backwards rotation keeps the ball straight and fast. If you grip the ball with the seams the seams catch the air. Interrupting the airflow the ball will be almost as fast ... and look like a fastball, but the ball moves down and in to a right hand batter.”The pitcher.
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