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I was happy to be able to provide for you. That was my duty as your husband and as the kids' father." So you're happy, Jeff? Have I been a good lover for you? Are you happy with our sex life?" she questioned me."My Gawd!" I groaned. "I don't think I could stand it if you were any more amorous! You are incredible, Darling."The next night, Brenda's younger sister, Annie, stopped in to visit. She had married a man twelve years her senior and he had died from a massive heart attack a couple years back. She was a younger version of Brenda. She had a wonderful figure and total devotion to her family.As usual, I flirted shamelessly with her. We had been doing that since Brenda had first taken me home to meet her family. Nothing had ever come of it and I never tried to take it any farther. Brenda and Annie were very close and they would sooner walk on hot coals than betray each other. That was one reason I was so comfortable flirting with Annie. I knew she wouldn't some day show up on my. And known, I should really say ‘known’. God, what a cruel fact. 1502 miles. I hate that number more than anyone can know. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. And when I start to cry, I imagine you coming to me, wrapping your loving arms around me, and pressing your body into mine, conveying all your thoughts and emotions into me with a tight hug. My heart beats faster, I can feel my blood pressure rise, but if I could only feel you for real! Isn’t that the most cruel thing of all? That goddamned distance. If not for it, this would be so much easier. When we aren’t talking, I think of you. During my day, even as busy as it normally is, I find myself busy with thoughts of you. Can you believe it? During the most mundane tasks, I think about you, and how you make me feel. And though we’ve never even met, you’ve accomplished something that people here with me cannot – you have made me feel. At night I dream about your touch upon my skin and how good it makes me feel. If only.
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