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"I, ah," Kendra began, concentrating on a dish in her hands. She glanced at Elaine before continuing. "I think I'm a lesbian."Elaine rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I'm the Pope."Kendra looked up from her task. "I'm serious."Sipping her wine, Elaine said, "Look, whoever you want to be is fine by me. Personally I think you like guys too much to be a lesbian. But hey, what would I know?" It's all an act."Elaine still wasn't sure whether Kendra was screwing with her head. "So what makes you think you're a lesbian?" she asked."I want the feel and the touch of a woman. I want what only a woman can give. I've fantasised about it for years. I'm sorry I kissed you. That was pushy and I didn't mean it. It was kind of uncontrolled, you know? Like, spur of the moment." Uncontrolled is fine with a willing partner. But I wasn't willing. And I won't be. It isn't you I want, Kendra." Elaine could hardly believe her ears. It was the clearest and most forthright she'd managed with her roommates. She could. “Dad,” Craig said, “the guys at school are using words I don’t understand.”“What words, son?” “Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your wife’s breast.”The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes.
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