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He’d take his small cock out of the front of his pants and stroke it the exact same way his father did. I began to wonder if Charles was coaching C on how to touch himself; and if he told C to play with my sleeping body. C’s free hand would slip down the front of my pants. The heat of his hand on my belly made me slick with wetness. He’d work his black fingers up and down my bare, wet slit while he pumped his shaft inches from my head.I didn’t have the words for what I was feeling, but I was aroused almost all the time. I tried just about everything in the house to rub up against. The rounded tips of my bed posts were my favorite at that time. I ached for penetration but did not know it at the time. One afternoon I recall with C, we were inches away from being caught. Our tiny living room was right next to the kitchen, where my mother, Charles, and a couple friends were drinking it up. I was wearing royal blue corduroys that were a bit too tight around the waist. This is. Something a bit scary.“Col, what do you mean?”He turned back towards me, a softness to his lips and a yearning in his eyes I had perhaps seen hints of before. Then his face hardened again.“I don’t know what I meant.” He looked away, trying to hide the emotions playing out behind his eyes.After a second or so, a terrifying thought occurred to me. At school, about the worst insult you could throw at someone was that they were a fag, a poofter. Was Col saying he had feelings for me like that?I grabbed his elbows and for a moment we wrestled under the blankets as I turned him to face me.“We’re boys – you can’t have feelings like that for me!”Col sagged back into the cushions.His eyes held a look of ... desperation? “Yes, I can. I do. But...”I cut him off, struggling to fight my way out of the cocooning blankets. It was confusing and very scary for my young brain as I did feel strongly attracted to him, but not that way – not physically, surely.“No! We’re not like that. I’m not like.
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