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We were amazingly in two person rooms, but somehow I wound up in a room of my own. When the training platoon and sergeant leaders came into the room, I could see the first lieutenant was bored. Later I found out he had just re-enlisted and was waiting to go to Fort Monmouth, New Jersey for Advanced Signal training. They parked him here to keep him busy. The sergeant looked at me and asked, in a nasty voice, ‘Soldier, do you button your shirt from the top down or bottom up?’ I froze for a second—I really couldn’t remember which way I did it. I blurted out, ‘Uh, from the bottom up Sir.’ God dammit soldier, this gentleman next to me is an officer, you salute him and call him sir. You do not salute me, you do not call me sir. You may call me sergeant or Sergeant Miller. Now give me twenty pushups for not knowing how to button your shirt.’ I heard them the next room over, and it was the same—except the private there said the opposite of what I did and still had to do the punishment. I. Sacrificing herself for me!" Yeah, but you got the technique, kid. You're an actress!" Dippy breezily pointed out. "You could turn the tables on her just like that!" He snapped his stubby tobacco-stained fingers. "All you got to do is say, 'No, no, dear sister, I can't let you do such a horrible thing for me... ' You're both prisoners, in this little skit, see, and the idea is one of you seduces the guard - that's Cliff - while the other escapes, get it? You can ad-lib it good, and she won't know what to do. So you steal the show, kid. She has to sneak off-stage and there you are!"Tiffany's eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm now and the color had returned to her youthful heart-shaped face. "Oh, Mr. Gallagher!" she bubbled happily. "That's a wonderful idea! How can I ever thank you enough?" Oh, just send me a postcard from time to time, kid," Dippy said blandly, slipping down from his chair on his runty legs and starting toward the door. From Nowheresville, you dumb cunt, he added to.
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