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He didn't have to wait long before she stopped outside of his door. A girl of about ten years of age entered his office. She was wearing a little business suit and carrying a briefcase.Handing him a business card, she said, "Hello, I'm Mercedes Anders. I'm here to represent you in the upcoming negotiations." What upcoming negotiations?" Jared asked.Mercedes said, "It is my understanding that you are interested in pursuing a relationship that will end in a lifetime economic merger with my cousin Karen." You mean I want to date her," Jared said."Precisely," Mercedes answered. She opened her briefcase and pulled out a packet of papers. Handing them over to him, she said, "This is a standard Anders dating contract. Please look it over. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer them."Jared was having a hard time keeping from laughing. He had never heard of anything so ridiculous in his entire life. He glanced down at the contract and the urge to laugh died. He said, "According to. ==========Subject Line: Denying My Edgy Writer-SlutGrushaVashnadze: Oh, so we like it in the chatbox, eh? That's more like it, word-cunt! Now you’re sounding a bit more like a serious writer.Just to show you what a kind literary master I am, I give you a choice: outbox or chatbox – where do you want my big hard message to ping first? Because they both need to be broken in, whore – and I’m going to fucking unlock them for you. Is it going to be your hot sweaty outbox, with all its rude words, blowing raspberries all over my stiff euphemism as I ram it in and out, making you scream for mercy? Or is it going to be your slimy drooling chatbox, oozing sweet nothings off your chiasmus, dribbling onto your two soft jiggly attachments?Then maybe, if you've been extra good, I might let you choose where I publish. Shall I coat your pretty face with my plot? Or give you a syntactical creampie? Or deep-fill your outbox with my characterization? Or maybe you wanna eat my sticky gloopy salty.
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