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“You driving or am I?” Gary asked as we walked outside into the chilly November morning air.“We’ve got the Labatt B-mer, so unless you can top that?” I replied with a smile.“The B-mer it is,” Gary laughed. As we walked up to this killer ride, he then added, “Just don’t think my six-year-old Impala can compete with this beauty,”Both girls smiled at us as they waited at the two passenger doors of the Labatt BMW. I used the key in the front door and heard the tell-tale click of all four doors opening. Gary, like me, was a perfect gentleman. He opened the door for Sammy and helped her get into the back seat of the car.“Why thank you, kind Sir,” Sammy replied as she looked up at her grinning new boyfriend.“You are most welcome, M’lady,” Gary replied as he gently shut the door and walked around with me to the other side of the car.I couldn’t help but smile at Tim Horton’s when Gary came back to our table with a tray full of food and drinks for him and Sammy. I just knew what Sammy was going. A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!”The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”4. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with -- transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.5. Back in the 1800’s the Tate’s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression: “He who has a Tate’s is lost”6. A thief.
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