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"I just can't seem to get my head around the fact that I'llnever lift ship again, or be out there. That I'll have to sit here onEarth and watch all of that from a distance." It's something you'll have to accept." Clarke shook his head slowly,the sorrow, not pity, showing in his eyes. "I'm sorry that's the waythings turned out, but it's the way things are now." So I'll deal with it." My answer didn't sound all that convincing,but he let it go at that and returned to the original subject."That you'll have to do largely on your own, Eric, but I can and willhelp you with that heavy burden of guilt you're carrying around now."Let me tell you something. Digging into that was not at all pleasant,for either one of us. We both stuck it out. * * * *"Well, I have a pretty good pension to live on." I was telling Connieabout the things in the package I had received from Major Handsford."But I'm a civilian again. NASA retired me." You could still work. Only twice in the five or so weeks here had I masturbated before he came to get me. The look on my face must have said it all. He laughed. “I thought you might like it more when you get yourself ready.”I had to swallow down the lump in my throat before I could answer. He wouldn't like it. ”Only if you don't watch.”Smirking he crossed the room, placed a hand on my cheek. “But that is part of the training.”Part of the training? What else was there to come? But the hand on my face felt good, unconsciously I leaned against it. So far I had never disobeyed. And I had been late the first time today. It had been a question, no order. Still my heart beat fast as I asked timidly. “Can you? Today?” He smiled, lowered his hand. His fingers brushed my jaw, traced my collarbone. I shivered under the slight touch. “Turn around.”With slightly trembling legs I obeyed.Placing his big hands on my hips he pulled me closer. So close that I felt his hard cock through the fabric of his boxers, pressing.
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