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For everything. It was wrong of me to put you in this situation. And I know I’ve made it quantifiably more difficult by being with you, but...now I don’t want to stop. Part of me was hoping you’d tell me you didn’t want me that first time, so I could give up and deal with my shit like a man. But I could see you wanted me, too. And being with you....does make me feel like a man again. Like I can control something around me. Not that I want to control you. God, this is coming out wrong.” He releases my chin to run a hand through his dark brown hair again. With all these new revelations, the first thing I want to address is his pain. Because above everything else, we're still friends, and I can't not comfort him. "Ethan, I can't believe she'd do that to you. God that's fucked up...that bitch." He scoffs, a small smile on his lips. "Did she tell you why?" I ask gently. He's looking out at the rain shaking his head. "Just some bullshit about how we're growing apart," he mumbles.. John was bitter when I handed him the envelope. He knew what it was without opening it."Andy, do you really have to do this?" Yes John. You know how it will be. I had hoped that I would make Chief Inspector or even Superintendent before I retired, but that isn't going to happen now. The suspension is on my record and no matter if it was justified or not, that will affect my career. I am going now whilst I have some years to offer a prospective employer." He grudgingly agreed with me."This will go to the top. I'll make sure of that." Good of you to say that, John, but you know it won't make any difference."Although my heart wasn't in it, I continued working as if I hadn't resigned. The news went round the Nick very quickly, and my colleagues made the time to see me and commiserate first, then wish me well. Coming off a late shift Bob Parrathwaite invited me for a drink. We went into Jacqui 'R's. It was a weeknight so Jacky wasn't there. Bob was outspoken to say the least."Gascoigne a.
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