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Why did he hate me so much then?”Trudy shrugged. “Think of it! You were the daughter of his irresponsible sister-in-law and spawned by a heathen and anti-Christ. That’s how he called your father. He was deathly afraid that somebody in his church might find out that he was raising Satan’s child.”“But he wanted me to marry Edward!”“Honey, Edward is also an embarrassment to his father. He’s gay. You would have been his beard, and he would have to accept you and somehow perform daily exorcisms on you,” Trudy grinned.“Edward’s gay? Oh God! Dad ... Gunderson wanted to marry me off to a gay man?” Unconsciously, Helen had quit thinking of him a father in the blink of an eye. “The fucking asshole! Gunderson I mean. That’s why Edward was so understanding — he was being coerced too.”“Basically yes. He was also secretly planning his coming-out. He broke with his father’s church last year and joined the Immanuel congregation. It’s part of the ELCA, and they ordain LGBT pastors.”“How do you know. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.8. A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz a’ alligator be chompin’ on it is.9. You can’t have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.10. Good places for the Blues:a) highwayb) jailhousec) empty bedBad places:a) Ashramsb) gallery openingsc) Ivy League institutionsd) golf courses11. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, ‘less you happen to be a’ old black man, and you slept in it.12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:a) you’re older than dirtb) you’re blindc) you shot a man in Memphisd) you can’t be satisfied.No, if:a) you have all your teethb) you were once blind but.
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