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. ‘ “What’s that for?” asked one of the girls. “Oh that’s just to let the blind know that the lights have changed” said the bloke. “My God” she said shocked “in the States we don’t even let them drive...”A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden. “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.“No” said the farmer “I get a dime for a tomato like that one”.The small boy pointed to a smaller green one “Will you take two pennies for that one?” “Yes” replied the farmer “I’ll give you that one for two cents”. “OK” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand “I’ll pick it up in about a week”.An old guy in a nursing home was wandering around the facility when he noticed his across-the-hall neighbour, Mrs. McGillicuddy, sitting in the lounge. He thought he’d shuffle up to her and ask if she could guess how old he was, just to have a little fun. She. But that was only because I couldn't stand the sight of him.Anyway, it seemed the worse I treated him, the better football he played. Last season, his final season as a senior, he went absolutely wild on the playing field. God! Could that dude ever break bones! I swear, you could hear the knees knocking together in the offensive back-field all the way up in the stands when Weird Harold took the field. There was talk about outlawing him because of unsportsman-like conduct, but then he got nominated for All-City, All-League, All-National teams and the protests kind of blew away. His last home game he fractured a line judge's spine when he disagreed with a close call. The local paper, the 'Langousta Times-Crier', said the judge deserved what he got.It was kind of sickening watching the big ape go berserk for old Langousta High, knowing as I did, what a total wimp he was off the field. It was pathetic, too, how pleased he was that college and pro scouts were calling him up all the time,.
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