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I’m not joking, it became a kind of undeclared war between Della and I, a real personal thing. She’d steal a contract off of me and I’d take one back from her. I’m damn sure she had a worm in our office somewhere, the same way I had a worm in hers. Illegal? Well, maybe yes, but business is business and what is it they say? All’s fair in love and war. And of course, no one asks too many questions of a winner. Well, in the end the Inevitable happened. I’d just swung a nice contract from a company in Norwich. They’d signed on the dotted line that afternoon and, although I could have made it back home that night, I decided to stay over in the Holiday Inn. Look, things were quite sticky in my marriage around then. Gwen, my wife at the time, liked to live it up a bit. The trouble was, with me on the road so much she’d got a bit antsy about me leaving her alone too much. Well, things were kind-a slowly going downhill and we both knew it. I think it was down to which one of us was going to. I think my neighbour is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your.
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