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Sorry, I couldn't stick around for a signature. Nobody was home. The next day I delivered a stack of pizzas to the international space station, still hot and in a vacuum-proof cell with a simple twist-lock, much like that of a submarine's hatch. I stuck around long enough to see them use a remote arm to pull the package into a transfer lock. I hoped that they liked the pizza. It was cheesy enough so that it shouldn't have self-destructed to leave bits and pieces floating around in zero gee.I was amused to find a full page taken out in the Chicago Tribune by Federal Express, in essence asking me to stop promising in their name what their asses couldn't deliver. I counter-offered to become one of their contractors. You should have seen the goddamned contract that they wanted me to sign! I replied, "No way in hell. I'll put myself up in business and drive you out of the market before I sign this menace. Fire your lawyers. They're too aggressive."Next, I got a simple eighty-twenty. ‘You don’t even call him by his first name! Do you even know it?’‘Yes, Mom. It’s Evan,’ I said with as much exasperation as I could muster. I had many misgivings and she seemed to have a gift for voicing all of them, but she hadn’t met this amazing man. So I countered with all of the pluses, leaving out the secret hopes. Finally she relented and agreed to come with me. I told her that I would accept his offer if she didn’t run away screaming in terror after she met him.The day dawned dreary with an inch of snow, so we bundled my ‘almost 5’ year old daughter Abby and ‘almost 4’ year old son Nate into the car and told them we were going to see a man who had ponies and a playground and a Jeep. I’m not sure which they were more excited about. The sky cleared as we arrived and as we pulled into the long driveway, the place seemed to have a magical effect on my Mother. ‘It reminds me of my grandfather’s place. We had such fun there.’Mr. B came out to greet us as we arrived. I introduced my.
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