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Maia had given him a son named Alexander. Being from Macedonia, she always admired the stories of the great conqueror. She was thirty when she had her son and Agrippa couldn't be more proud to have a boy to raise. He started teaching him to play with wooden swords when the boy was three."You've got to stay there," Attia complained. "I don't want you quitting now then laying around the house or going to the baths drinking wine, gambling and becoming fat and lazy. You are too young for that." It's just that I don't see enough of you," he moaned. He knew he wasn't getting anywhere with his wife but he aired out his frustrations too."You see me at least five nights a week," Attia countered. "And you know we have a good time in bed when you are at home. To tell you the truth, my dear husband, you need those two nights away from me because you're not as virile as you once where when we were first married." What do you mean? We have sex nearly every night I'm home," Lucius countered."Yes we. I am an introvert. A serious introvert. One of nearly the hermit kind. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is by the writer Neal Stephenson: “Where did all these people come from, and how do I make them go away?” What this means as far as Christmas is concerned is that even though I enjoy gift-giving, I absolutely hate crowds.When I was about thirty and single—in days before the Internet—I developed tactics for shopping that made dealing with the crowds easier. I didn’t shower, shave, or brush my teeth for three days before going out to hit the malls (in those days, a stubbly face was a sign of poor grooming rather than a fashion statement). On the fateful day, I dressed in raggedy, grubby clothes. A pair of jeans I’d dragged around the garage floor until they were grimy and reeked of oil and gasoline. A tattered shirt. A holey tee-shirt was the best, weather permitting. Then I’d chew and swallow three cloves of raw garlic, washing each mouthful down with a shot of whiskey..
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