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Shit!Too much thinking, too little sleeping. The alarm kicked in to take him away from his fantasy, just in time to really notice something that wasn't sleeping. This was more than a gentle thrum or throbbing, this was a pounding feeling. He was familiar with the sensation of the 'morning wood', had even in his moments of comparative weakness read up about it on websites. But this was something he hadn't felt in a long time. This was a real urge. Not just his bodily function, but a physical need.The morning routine was already broken. What the hell; The shower could wait a few minutes, watching morning telly was no must. This was. Oooooh this was. He gave in to the obvious temptation, and ten minutes of vigorous thrusting had him searching for the nearest available kleenex. Fuck, the box was empty. bloody hayfever. Too late to worry about it now - this was going to be messy. Unless, yes! Top drawer to his right. He could always clean a sock. It was far more anonymous than changing. My wardrobe now met her minimum standards for survivability in extreme conditions."You can't go hunting without a weapon." the quartermaster laid a Kimber 84M Mountain Ascent rifle on the counter for my inspection.The rifle weighed in at less than five pounds. Fitted with a four round magazine, it fired a .30-'06 bullet with a muzzle velocity of a bit over three thousand feet per second. The rifle's two thousand dollar price tag was the heaviest part of the Kimber. Apparently, when you win the lottery, money is no object.Brenda positioned me in front of a full-length mirror and, like a tailor, stepped back to admire her handiwork. "Very nice. Now you look like a hunter. The deer will take one look at you and die of fright," she noted with pride."More likely Bambi will die laughing. I feel like an escapee from an L. L. Bean fashion catalog," I said with a silly grin."Either way, dead is dead, and Bambi is dinner." Alice smacked her lips in anticipation of venison stew.Unloaded rifle.
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