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This car's on the back lot. We're bringing it around." In a few minutes and a donut apiece later, the proper car appeared. Smarmy salesman tried to get back on track. "Sir, you'll want a test drive?" Nope. It's an SUV. Steering wheel. Pedals. Automatic transmission. It's not the space shuttle. I don't need to drive it."So he missed his test drive, replete with "New car smell". Now he was eying my pickup truck and thinking he'd hit the lottery. "And you're wanting to use that truck as a trade-in?"I'm thinking, "Bud, If I trade THAT truck on this little SUV, you'll be writing ME a check." So I told him, "Nope. Cash down. Fifty percent. So tell me what your number is."And the schmuck gave me sticker price. I took Kim's hand. "Come on, sweetie. I guess we DO need to drive to Houston..." W-w-wait. Lemme go talk to my manager. I might can get you a deal," he stammered."Do what you gotta do. But be advised. I know what these things are going for. In Houston. And if you want to sell one. “My name’s Jason with the DoT. I’ve been instructed to inform homeowners of potential invasive plant infestations where encountered. I thought I should let you know that your property is showing signs of encroachment along the south edge.” “You don’t say Jason. I had no idea. What should be done?” “Well ma’am--”. “Call me Vivian,” I interrupted. “I’m only supposed to inform the property owners,” he continued. ”But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to knock it down, seeing as it’s so small an area, and I am working right next to it.” “Why I’d be so grateful Jason. thank you.” The entire exchange would have been so much more believable had he actually been talking to my eyes rather than my tits, “Would you like something cold to drink? You must be absolutely poached working in that heat.” “That would be much appreciated, thanks.” “Please close the door, I’m trying to keep the cool air in.” I heard the door shut as I opened the fridge for the lemonade, which nearly slid right.
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