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But this one I just had to answer.“Hey Kitten!” I greeted Cassie.“Keith, don’t call me that any more, okay? It used to be something I loved to hear, but now it just brings tears to my eyes. So stop it.”“Sure, Cassie, if that’s what you want. But old habits die slow, so please forgive me when I slip, because I will, sure as shooting. What’s up?”“I just wanted to call you and tell you that you’re an asshole! How the fuck could you do it? Getting some friend of yours to ask me out on a sympathy date? Shit, that’s about as low as it gets, isn’t it?”“What? What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t asked anyone to call you for any reason! The only guy that even knows you and I broke up is . . . Bill Hudson called you, didn’t he?”“Yeah, and I thought that was pretty cheesy of you! Getting him to ask me to the football game tomorrow! Are you trying to say that I can’t get a date any other way?”“Cassie, if Bill phoned you, it was his idea, not mine. He likes you, and has for as long as. The rest of you know what to do. We start our attack Tuesday morning at 7:00 A.M. Pacific time, 8:00 Mountain time. Good luck and may God be with us on our holy quest. Rev. Pecksniff will now offer a prayer for our success."The Rev. Martin Pecksniff, an ultra-reactionary fundamentalist preacher who harangued against Blacks, Jews, Hispanics and anyone else who opposed his demagoguery about the government, welfare, drugs, alcohol, taxes, liberalism and anything else that provoked his ire at any given moment, began his prayer."We pray to God almighty so that He may give us the strength to overcome those who have allowed our great country to degenerate under the atheistic liberal leanings of those who would place the supposed rights of the lazy welfare cheats, niggers, spics, homosexuals and drug dealers over the rights of honest, God fearing white working people." We pray to God to watch over our holy crusade to return our country to the great Christian ideals which made us great. We.
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