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Each night I would be chained in my cage and so little bylittle a routine was established which effectively led to my abandonment ofhuman ways and to a seemingly contented state living as a dog. * * * * *?After a few weeks ofdog training i thought my life was now settled into a routine and one thatcould have been a lot worse. True i was totally deprived of liberty - i stillhad a collar locked round my neck, i still slept in a cage on an old rug andwas chained to the wall, i never went outside except at night on my leash topiss and shit; but set against that i was warm and fed and was onlyoccasionally whipped for slowness in responding. As i had become accustomed tomoving on all fours, new muscles had developed, my speed had increased andincreasingly my behaviour was more that of?a dog than a human. Severe whippings in the early days had quicklytaught me that total obedience to my Master's wishes was definitely the bestpolicy and i had soon ceased to be embarrassed by the life of. But sometimes, they stop working and I need to get them adjusted.’ Janet leaned forward and listened closely to Sam. ‘Sam, describe what you go through to me.’ The compassionate, loving Janet was back now. ‘It’s a heavy unexplainable sadness. Everything could be going great in my life. Good relationship, good job, money in the bank and healthy. But I still feel like my existence is meaningless. It takes incredible effort to even smile. It’s like a cancer that won’t go away. It might go into remission for a while, but eventually it is going to come back.’ ‘Is there a cure?’ she asked hopefully. But Sam’s facial expression answered her question. He looked at the floor. ‘Not yet. There are many different treatments and theories about what may cause it, but no known true cure.’ Janet just stared at Sam. A single tear ran down her cheek. ‘What can you do to make it better?’ ‘Endorphins from running help a lot. Eating healthy and getting enough rest are good strategies too. Janet, I know.
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