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" "Mom," I said, "you know we went to a clothing-optional beach on our honeymoon in St. Martin." Yes?"Actually, I wasn't entirely clear on whether "Mom" had known that, or not. But I was reasonably certain that something had been said about it, by somebody, somewhere along the line, before, during, or after our honeymoon trip."... Well, uh, Mom, while we were down there, some photographer -- some paparazzi guy from Germany -- well, he took some pictures of us, on the beach, there." Well -- what is it? Is he trying to blackmail you for the pictures?"Marlene, evidently, read far too many trashy detective novels."No, uh, Mom. But the pictures -- very explicit pictures, especially of Tess. Well, they've been published in a German magazine." Well, I certainly hope it doesn't get around here, in North Carolina!" Marlene said."The magazine isn't here," I explained, "at least, not yet. But the pictures -- they're all over the Internet." You mean, people can send them on their. "Oh, stop being such a worrier!" Jock said in his best Benjamin Bunny impersonation. "Of course they will love her. Anything else is impossible!"With Jock's certainty ringing in my ears - bless his sunny disposition - I drove home. But I must have changed my mind about likely (make that unlikely) scenarios at least a dozen times on the way - rush hour traffic was worse than ever! - and decided to take soundings with Ramone.When I stood in the lobby I realized how absurd and pathetic that was. What would he be able to tell me? That Elise and Jess had gouged Laura's eyes out in his presence? That screaming and yelling had been heard? That someone had jumped - or been thrown - out the window from the sixth floor? That blood was seeping out from under the front door? Get a grip! I told myself. As usual, Ramone was calm personified. "Good evening Mr. George," he said. "I took your daughters up to Miss Laura. It is really nice they are here for your birthday." Thanks Ramone," I said.
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