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My lonely empty house was locked up and my affairs were in order. Before coming here I had mailed my mother a letter asking her forgiveness for what I was doing.I was patient, yet the girl just stood there, the cold wind from the ocean had to be chilling in her tank top and shorts. The sun would be going down soon and at least a few people would show up to watch the sun set. I knew if she didn't leave soon I would be stopped before I could make it over the tall rail fence. Finally the girl moved, it was a move I expected myself to be making and yet I found myself striding forward as she climbed the rail fence."Don't do it!" I called out as I reached for her slim waist."Please let me go. I just want to die," the girl cried, struggling against me, trying to climb the fence."You're so young, you have your whole life ahead of you," I whispered in her ear."No. It's over," the girl sobbed. "Paul is dead and I want to die too." It'll get better, the pain will ease," I lied, the pain was. " Yes, dear; how do you feel about pretending to be a girl?" I... I don't know. It's all strange to me. Lots of nasty things havehappened and I just want everything to get better...I want my mum anddad back."I put my head in my hands and started sobbing.I could feel some soft arms hugging me and comforting me. I just criedall the harder.I was dimly aware of a door opening and then closing but I was toowrapped up in my grief to care.Finally, after quite a while I looked up and through misty tears couldsee the matron looking at me with a concerned face."Feeling any better?" A bit - sorry." What for?" Crying." We all need a good cry sometimes and you have been through a lot. Nowblow you nose with this hanky and wipe your eyes. Look your teddy fellon the ground, here you are. Mandy has gone to get us all a cup of teaand she'll be back in a minute."She left me cuddling teddy, feeling a bit stupid perhaps as I'm quiteold now and shouldn't need to have a cuddly toy and sat behind her.
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