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I had to masturbate, and I couldn't help thinking about making love with him, imagining him on me and in me. I had a tremendous orgasm but afterwards cried some more because masturbation is so lonely.I don't know what's going to happen or how it's going to end. If I let him nurse again, I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid of what might happen if we do go all the way, and afraid of what might happen if we don't.March 24 I'm still in a quandary, but describing this to you, Dear Diary, is cathartic for me. It externalizes all this a bit and gives me some distance from it so I can think more clearly. Thanks for being here. You're keeping me sane.Dave has been pestering me to nurse again, and I've been refusing, but today he switched tactics. He said I at least had to keep my promise to show him what girls are like. I said we did that already, but he said that was only half. Now he needed to see the other half. When I told him this whole thing had gone too far, he accused me of breaking. Stepped aside, let the angry, tense driver through. He caught her face, she was young, pretty, brunette, but damn if she didn’t have a temper on her. David R. looked at the door, then back up at the window. The nurse had gone. Damn, he thought. He glanced at the door again, then squared his shoulders. Should’ve had that spot of Dutch courage before I came, he thought. But then I had to drive here, so … He sighed and approached the door. Through the door was a corridor, with a friendly signpost which read RECEPTION –>, in blue, rounded letters. David R. followed the signs through the corridor until he came to a set of stairs, which he climbed up to get to Reception. Reception was bright and sunny, the blinds were wide open, and the sunlight streamed into the room, giving the room with its cream yellow walls a happy glow. Around the reception area were rows of long comfy sofas set against the walls, and a double back to back row of soft armless chairs in the middle, all upholstered.
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