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Even better. Little did they know it was not to be the historic occasion they thought it was. This could be the single greatest speech I ever make.The press secretary looked inquiringly at me.I nodded.He took the rostrum.The press room quieted."Ladies and gentlemen, the God Given President of the United States."The members of the press corps stood. A few people clapped. I took note of those people. They would get front row seats starting Saturday. Everybody else's press credentials were going to be stripped from them. They are probably all a bunch of blasphemers who think I've been in the wrong all this time. God's work will be done, even if I have to declare everybody who challenges me an enemy combatant. I mounted the rostrum and stared straight at the cameras. God talks to me, and now I'm talking to the nation. Like Moses, my words had better be heeded if they did not want divine wrath to strike them. "Please be seated."Everybody sat down."Ladies and gentleman, good Conservative. The annual “F4F” Fundraiser covers the expenses and there is no cost for the parents of those children.The “F4F” Fundraiser was started by our Sororities with the financial help of our Fraternities. “F4F” stands for “Fuck For Five.” The full name of the fundraiser is: “Fuck the Sorority Girl, Student, or Professor of your dreams for five hundred dollars…all three holes available for three hours.”Of course it started out to be just the Sorority Girls then Students were added as the requests increased. Finally, with enough requests the Professors started to say yes to the Fundraiser too. I was one of them.I was approached last year by two of the Sorority Sisters on the committee and asked if I was willing to let some guy fuck me for three hours if he contributed five hundred dollars to their cause.Well, I was single at the time and I hadn’t had a date in a while so I said okay. Yes, I was horny.The “date” took place on a Friday in one of the Sorority Houses on campus. I was assigned to.
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