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"I put on some Converse sneakers and she helped put on a blonde wig. It felt different having hair laying across my shoulders. "Fuck!" I thought to myself, "What did I get myself into?"To complete the outfit she put a mood necklace around my neck.She jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "You look sooooo good! Oh! I almost forgot! We need a name for your inner cross dresser..." Uhhh... no... this is enough, thank you." No!" She laughed, "Hmmm... how about Marget?" NO!" I shouted."You like it? Good. That's your name for the day, big girl."I sighed and blew a hair out of my face."Fred" pulled up in her driveway and I grabbed my purse that was preloaded by yours truly. I walked out side, opened the passengers seat door and sat down."Well hello who are... AHHHHHH!!!" He screamed as he turned and looked at me."Not another fucking word." I restrained the massive urge to punch him."But you... your ass was... gahhh!" He sat back in the seat red-faced. My girlfriend came and sat in another. Any Given program, once running, is obsolete.If a test program functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunctionIf a program is useful, it will have to be changed corollary:If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.All programs expand to fill available memory corollary:All programs expand beyond the ability of the programmer to understand them.Interchangeable files won’tRegardless of the units used by the customer, the programmer shall use his own arbitrary units, convertible only by means of weird & unnatural conversion factors. Speed, for example, will be expressed as furlongs per fortnight.Files that cannot be destroyed will be.Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the cost of errors, or until someone insists that work be done.A carelessly planned program takes 4 times longer to complete than a carefully planned system, which takes only 3 times as long as expected.There’s always one more bug.A system could be designed that’s foolproof, but.
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